Too Attached


Today I met a couple who had been together for 2 decades and just had their first child. As I was getting to know them I couldn’t help but be glad I wasn’t them! I think a lot of parents get too attached to their first baby and they let it really change their lives. I notice lots of first born children having some kind of social issues by being raised like this. It’s like the baby and parents in a plastic bubble. Their baby was about to turn one and they had not been away from him for even 1 hour. They were talking about how life ‘used’ to be and how they were able to go out and now they can’t. They have lots of options for babysitters, but they have never accepted. They sat there and spoke about how nice it would be to get away from their baby to feel “normal” again. I told them to just DO IT because it was important for all of them.

I went on to tell them about our trip to Scotland when Audrey was 8 months old and that we were leaving her again to go to Las Vegas tomorrow. Believe me, it’s hard when you first leave your little baby but once you get to your destination its wonderful. I knew from the beginning that I did not want to be the type of parent who creates an unhealthy attachment between myself and my child and vice versa. I think new parents tend to do that with their first-born, but once the second baby arrives things change. And for a family whose life revolved around that one little baby, a second baby can shake things up drastically. I want to be able to continue my life as ‘Sarah’ and also as ‘Mommy’. If I just become ‘Mommy’ what will happen to me after my children are all grown up? I adore Audrey, but I would be doing her and myself a disservice to teach her that my world revolves around her. I want her to grow up secure in knowing that Mommy and Daddy love her, but to see that we are also ‘Sarah’ and ‘Tom’. One day she’ll have her own babies and I hope she learns how important it is to take time for herself by our example.

Ah speaking of time for myself, bed sounds just wonderful right now.

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