Home Makers Are Amazing!

I am going to address the misconception that a lot of ignorant people tend to have about stay at home wives/moms. I say wives and moms because there are a lot of women that are home makers who don’t have children yet. The people that don’t understand the work load that home makers take on have never been home makers. Families where both parents work still have to find a way to complete some of the tasks that home makers do. But the idea that they do the same amount of work in ADDITION to their full time jobs is just ludicrous. Yes there are tasks around the house that must be done in both cases, but chasing and growing babies around the clock is the real work. There is nothing wrong with admitting that taking care of our children is hard work, and it’s 24/7. Let’s talk about some definitions:

WORK

[wurk]  Show IPA noun, adjective, verb, worked or ( Archaic , except for 29, 31, 34 )wrought; working.

noun

1.

exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.
2.

something on which exertion or labor is expended; a task or undertaking: The students finished theirwork in class.
3.

productive or operative activity.
4.

employment, as in some form of industry, especially as a means of earning one’s livelihood: to look forwork.
5.

one’s place of employment: Don’t phone him at work.

 

The cleaning! Now keeping a house clean is a job that is completed by home makers as well as the parents who work outside the home. However, when you are a home maker the biggest challenges come from the fact that you stay home 24-7 to raise your children. A family in which both parents work while their children must spend their day in daycare has to deal with cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, etc just like the home makers. But if you consider that the bulk of their day is spent outside of the home, that would create a lot less mess. There are two categories of home makers 1) home makers with young children (0-5) and 2) home makers without children at home all day or none at all. I would fall in the #1 type of home maker. Kids = MESS! If I decided to go back to work my kids would spend most of their week in daycare. Which means the daycare would be messy instead of my home! My baby has 14 hours in a day to make messes, but if she were in daycare her productive mess time would be reduced to 4-6 hours. Obviously a lot less damage can be done in 4-6 hours vs. 14 hours.
The first definition of WORK is – exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil. Do you consider washing hundreds (or thousands depending on family size) of laundry items an “effort directed to produce or accomplish something”? I sure do! In my home I do laundry for 5 people and that means I do a minimum of 10 large loads/week. I change my toddler 2-3 times a day; this doesn’t include the amount of cloth diapers I change also. Once your laundry is clean you must fold/hang and put the items away. And let’s not forget the steaming and ironing that needs to be done also!
Cooking healthy home made meals is definitely a job. Millions of families sit down every day in a restaurant and pay a chef to prepare meals for them. Home makers don’t get paid in the same ways a chef would, however I consider a healthy family to be a form of compensation. Your health isn’t always granted to you; it’s something that you earn through healthy eating and exercise. Healthy meals don’t have to be hard to make, but they do take more prep time. All the processed food available now means that you can open a can or box and have a meal in 5-10 minutes, but it’s never a healthy option when compared to a home made meal with healthy ingredients. I am not against canned or boxed food, but like everything in life there must be moderation. Nothing beats the nutritional content that fresh fruits and vegetables provide your body. When my husband gets home, dinner is usually cooked and ready to eat or being prepared. Grocery shopping is also a HUGE part of being able to cook healthy meals. Healthy meals mean fresh ingredients. Fruits and vegetables need to be purchased 1-3 times/week. I am not a fan of the grocery grind. I find it really draining, especially when you have you little kiddos to tote around with you. My 1 year old makes any trip outside the house 100 times more difficult.
It seems like a lot of articles about home makers have comments that basically said “But home makers and stay at home moms aren’t professionals so they don’t do professional work.” GASP! Really!? My dad is an inventor,engineer,and entrepreneur and I learned from him that if you want something done right you probably have to do it yourself. The people who said these things were basically saying “since you aren’t a professional your children are better off being raised by someone who is!” There is NO ONE on earth that could clean my home, chauffeur my kids, wash our clothes, cook our meals, and care for my children better than myself. Hired professionals are hired, so they do efficient jobs. My husband and I would rather stay home for a meal than go out because I am an excellent cook and I do care what goes into my body.
Most importantly it’s the sacrifice. Having children is a blessing, but they are and should be a huge commitment. I think everyone sacrifices for their kids in different ways. My sacrifice would be putting my life and interests on hold so I can stay home to help my child grow. And being able to be 100% a part of their baby a toddler years is special. Children don’t want to be nurtured by anyone but their mommies and daddies. A lot of families just can’t afford to have a parent stay home and that is understandable. There are also a lot of parents that can’t handle what being a stay at home parent entails; I’m referring to the lack of a personal life. I know first hand that it is very very hard. You really don’t have any “ME” time when your kids are at home. I have no disrespect for these types of situations. My frustration is directed at people who think home makers have taken the easy road. If you don’t want to raise your children don’t have any! For me personally, choosing to stay home with my babies is definitely the harder route. I would much rather be out having adult interaction and working outside of the home for the day. But I think it’s more important to spend these precious moments with my babies while they are young and getting to know the world. I would be devastated if I just let these precious, short baby years slip by without being there every second.
When my babies are older I will start by putting them in school part time so they can socialize. When they are at school I can use that time to enter the world of adults again. I don’t plan on staying home once my children are in school full time. My time is definitely most valuable staying at home while they are too young for school. I would get very bored if I stayed home all by myself every day. I will probably go back to work and enjoy my new freedom. But as I’m sitting her typing this, I’m watching my 14 month old pull every book off the book shelf while trying to run a comb through her curly hair and I think to myself that these moments are too special to miss.

7 thoughts on “Home Makers Are Amazing!

  1. Hi Sarah, I think it would be nice if everyone would try to respect the choises other people make. I like to believe (almost) everyone has the best interest of their family at heart when they make choises that are about and effect the balance between work and private life. Every individual, every family and every situation is unique, so who are we to judge decisions others make?
    I find it so nice and inspiring to see how others life their life. All the things that don’t give me energy, I let them be.
    I admire your devotion toTom, his kids and Audrey. I enjoy seeing you enjoing Audrey even when she is making a mess and I take that as a lesson, because as a working mom of four boys I never have enough time to enjoy them as much as I would like to. I am always working, cooking, cleaning and taking care of everybody. It’s a ratrace everyday. I realize I have to appreciate the little things more. So now I try to enjoy te small moments during dinner or bedtime, or when I’m helping my oldest sons with their homework…. So thank you for that!

    • I agree that ALMOST everyone has their families best interest at hear. But I personally know women who choose a more selfish path. And I lose respect for them the same way I would lose respect for a parent that stayed home but neglected their children. There are so many home makers that also neglect the kids at home. But since making a decision to be a home maker, I get more and more negative feedback from women who say I don’t work as hard because I get to stay home all day.

      • That is so sad…. I know there are a lot of people that choose another path… One that I woudn’t or couldn’t choose. Since I can do little about it, I try to not be frustrated about it. But that’s so hard when they direct themselves at me, or in this case at you… My motto is: Put it in a bubble and blow it away! Cliché, but it helps! I think you are doing terrific! And Tom too!

      • Hi there! I’ve been following you and your gorgeous family for a while now and love reading your posts! I am a dedicated stay at home mum in the UK and have two children aged 17 months and 3 years old. I previously worked as a full time lawyer prior to having my son.

        I decided that I wanted to raise my children myself and add I am in the fortunate position of being able to afford not to work. Many if my friends are not so lucky but make their work/home life balance as best they can.
        I live in a reasonably affluent area and having worked VERY hard for twelve years before having the kids secured our home and financial future with my husband. But the prejudice I find here to being a stay at home mum is appalling! I’ve been called “lazy”, “lacking in ambition”, “crazy” even!
        Yes my house is frequently in an absolute mess, especially after our much loved craft sessions (who knew I could be so creative!). I rarely get the chance to go to the toilet unaccompanied never mind manage to blowdry and straighten my hair. Make up almost never finds its way onto my face anymore and the luxury of having long hot shower is a thing of the past! A hot drink is now a myth in my house!

        I have also been blessed with a beautiful daughter as my second child but she is lively and needs a lot of stimulation. She hadn’t taken a decent daytime nap (despite my best continued efforts at enforcing a routine!) since she was about four months old! That means some days NOTHING other than the bare necessities gets done!

        I would love to challenge the self righteous working mums (and by that I do not by any stretch of the imagination mean all working mums – just those who feel we lowly stay at home mums are worthless because we don’t have a shiny career or even a paycheck!) to a day in my life! I have never worked as hard, been as tired or bedraggled but to be honest never been rewarded as richly!

        My children are my world and I feel utterly blessed to call myself a stay at home mum and I’m proud!

        Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas x

  2. well said Sarah. I gave up a well established career of 15 years to stay home with and care for my children (1, 3, and 17) and can easily and confidently say that being a stay at home mom / full time home maker is by far the lost demanding, difficult, draining…yet most rewarding position I have ever held. your doing a great job. stay at home moms are a powerful and amazing breed. 🙂

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